Meme Dump
- Thread starter Kontradiction
- Start date
would still smash
Lord Chevy
I'm home
The bike beat you to it
Hi. My name is Elisha Manning. I used to be a quarterback and now I’m retireded, which means I have more time to think about animals and also draw them when I feel like it. And I mostly always feel like it.
Today I want to talk about horses. And elephants. And bears. Mostly in that order, but also kind of scrambled.
Let’s get something straight: I love horses. Horses are probably my top 5 animal, maybe even top 3 if frogs didn't exist. But I can't draw frogs, and I can draw horses really good. One time I drew a horse so powerful I had to destroy it, but that's a different story for a different day.
If bears didn’t exist, I think elephants would be my favorite horses. But bears do exist, and that changes the whole situation.
𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐭:
Bears can run. Like, run. You wouldn’t think something that big and furry and shaped like a couch could zoom, but it can. Elephants run too but they don't run as fast as bears I don't think.
𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆: 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒓
𝐄𝐚𝐫 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:
Elephants have ears that are better than 92% of ears on Earth. They’re like big, flappy fans made of listening. One time when I was five, I went to the zoo and pointed at elephant ears for FOUR HOURS. It was the best day of my life.
𝑬𝒂𝒓 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆: 𝑬𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒕
𝐊𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐯𝐬. 𝐌𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬:
Bears have huge knives on their hands. Elephants have knives too, but they’re mouth knives. Looks uncomfortable. I can’t see me drinking juice boxes with those mouth knives. Advantage bears.
𝑾𝒆𝒂𝒑𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆: 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒓
𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐚𝐫:
I learned to spell “bear” very early. It’s short, it makes sense, I can do it most the time right, and it’s got a strong energy. “Elephant” is like a word that dares you to be wrong, and I usually am wrong about it. Peyton had to help me spell it until I was at least 6. Maybe longer. And I wasn't 6 yesterday.
𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆: 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒓
So yes, in the end, bears beat elephants. But horses beat everything. I love horses more than pizza and most of my pants. Sometimes I wish horses were purple, but they aren’t. Peyton says there aren't purple horses, but I make them purple in my mind all the time, which don't tell Peyton about cuz he'll get mad.
I think if you asked a bear and an elephant who the best animal is, they’d probably both say “horse." Unless they’re being competitive, which is likely.
Anyway, thank you for letting me talk about this. I’m Eli Manning. I used to play QB. Now I mostly think about horses and animals.
Goodbye forever or until next time,
Love you don't tell Peyton
Elisha
HSanders
EEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSS!!!!!!
Gradually over time I have learned the signs and the tolerance limits and I always try to stop right before. this really only happens with brushing with petting not so much.
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