NFL General News
- Thread starter LordSensei1958
- Start date
Maybe he can get together with Caleb Williams and they can do each others nails.
View: https://x.com/_MLFootball/status/1912941212350468366
View: https://x.com/_MLFootball/status/1912941212350468366
All that just to not make the playoffs again
“I have to say this quickly... I don’t know how much time I have. And I know they’re listening.” That’s how Michael Penix opened his press conference today when asked a routine question about the Falcons’ upcoming season.
He continued nervously, sweat dripping down his face like he hadn't slept in days.
“Every single street in Atlanta is called Peachtree. Every. Single. One. I’m tired of pretending like I don’t notice. Tired of acting like it’s normal.” Penix said, his eyes darting around the room as Atlanta media exchanged uneasy glances.
A reporter stood up cautiously. “Michael… we used to have another quarterback named Michael. Michael Vick. Your thoughts?”
Penix didn’t even acknowledge the question. “This morning I woke up on Peachtree Way. Took a left on Peachtree Lane. Merged onto Peachtree Parkway. Got off on the Peachtree Street exit... To get here.”
He paused, scanning the room. “Those are the same directions I take every morning no matter the destination. Y’all don’t see how messed up this is?!”
That’s when the men in suits arrived... dark shades, earpieces, unmarked lapels. They entered quietly through the back, moving with clinical precision toward the podium.
“Awwww noooo,” Penix muttered. “They’re here. Don’t let them take me! Y’all hear me?! DO NONE OF Y’ALL HEAR ME?!”
As the men restrained him, he kicked over the mic stand and yelled:
“IT’S ALL PEACHTREE! I WON’T BE SILENCED! FALCONS FANS... TELL THEM WHAT YOU SAW HERE TODAY! QUIT PRETENDING! QUIT LYING TO YOURSELVES! THIS WHOLE CITY IS JUST ONE PEACHTREE LOOP!”
They dragged him off. No one moved. The press corps sat motionless. The room... eerily silent... stared forward as if nothing had happened.
A moment later the press conference resumed with a special teams update like nothing happened.
View: https://x.com/_MLFootball/status/1913028458231320611
Yeah, sure. And my name's Art Vandelay and I'm an importer/exporter.
The Kansas City Chiefs Fan action figure has been released complete with the fan wearing a “REFS” t-shirt, a bottle of barbecue sauce, a bowl of burnt meat, a bottle of whiskey, a Patrick Mahomes doll and a “SWIFTIES” t-shirt.
The Las Vegas Raiders action figure has been released. Comes with a hoodie reading “commitment to crime,” a 13 tattoo, Mexican flag, orange prison jumpsuit, a bottle of Olde English and an ankle monitor. Brass knuckles and lowrider sold separately. Get yours today!
captain stone
Well-known member
captain stone
Well-known member
That account gets a lot wrong..
Typo, O is right next to the I.
